Meetings, appointments, phone calls, conflict resolution. Cleaning, cooking, planning, cleaning again. Laundry, dishes, kids, did you do your chores? The swirl of real life. The everyday. Reality. I feel my spirit longing for something realer. The reality that is truer than the noise and thoughts whirling around my brain.
First morning light. Quiet breathing of children still sleeping. I sip my coffee and slip out to the garden. Birds sing an invitation, come into the present, His presence is here. A breeze blows the leaves who whisper He has all you need in this moment; come into the now.
I notice my breathing begin to calm and steady as I take in the morning’s fleeting beauty, but before I realize it, my brain gets swept back in to the anxiety of Not Enough. Not enough time for all that is today, not enough energy for the meeting in an hour, not enough money for our kids’ future. A rooster crows, that is not now. I shake off the nagging thoughts of the future and cringe-y memories of the past. Now, I’m in the garden where plants need their daily soaking if they’re going to survive the heat. I notice the earthy fragrance radiating from the beds as the hose pours water onto the dry ground and my spirit settles into a Peace that was there all along, in each present moment, just waiting for my awareness to connect me to Him.
Shrinking shadows rest like they only do in the summertime. My time in the garden is ending. Time, time, time… Clock time helps us organize, but my brain begins to whirl again in the physiological time that is anything but present. You’re going to be late. The kids are probably hungry. Hurry up and finish with the garden, there’s too much to do. Stress rises, things feel cloudy, I begin to hustle. I notice a gopher mound by the potatoes, so close to harvest time, but threatened by the animal who made that earthen pile. Which time to choose? The clock says there’s still time. Psychological time says to run to the next thing in a semi panic. With the help of the gopher, I choose the Now, sprinkle natural repellent to shoo the critter away, and gather my things. Having done what I could in that moment, I am able to release the little critter from my brain and move on to engage in the next Present.
Tall grass brushes against my shins on the way to the house, reminding me to stay aware, He is with you in the present moment. He has everything you need in each of your nows. Just be aware.
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”
Matthew 6:34, The Message